My Path to Self Care

Self care is important for each of us. How we get there is just as important and as diverse as every individual.

For me, my health is very important, both physical and mental. While I served in the military I was subjected to things that were not very pleasant, and should never have happened to me, or anyone. Sometimes these things happen and there are no ways around it and you have to deal with the fallout. And sometimes, you have to deal with the fallout for the rest of your life. I do not want to talk about what happened to me in the military but I will say that what happened was non-combat related but damaging nonetheless.

Moving on and regarding health I watched my mother slowly be taken away from us due to Alzheimer's disease until she succumbed to it in November 2023. It is an awful disease which robs you of your mind, arguably the only thing that makes you, you.

My father's mind is just fine, but his physical body is broken down and full of problems and pain. He has to use a walker to get around and that is not without a struggle in and of itself.

I have my fair share of issues too being middle-aged. Over the years I've exercised and gotten myself into good shape only to fall off the wagon and become overweight. That has been a struggle off an on throughout my adult life. Because of that I have type II diabetes. These days it is diet controlled and I don't have to take any medicine to keep my insulin levels down. I have been able to accomplish this through discipline in eating habits, and exercise habits. The last time, I got back on the wagon, and I am still on the wagon, I lost over 70 pounds. There was a lot of walking and regular weightlifting sessions combined with a proper human diet.

I'm not one for New Years Resolutions, but I occasionally make goals for myself. I've heard studies show that it takes about 66 days to form a habit that will likely stick. I've done that with diet and exercise. At the end of 2023 I started meditating again. This is something I've done off and on in the past where it has provided me some positive benefits. I made it a goal to get back into the habit of meditating.

I have a job that inherently comes with a lot of pressure and stress. Public Safety and 911 is not for the faint of heart and when you're in a leadership position, the stakes are even higher. To further complicate things I have a tendency to add more pressure upon myself to perform above expectations. This job has to answer to politicians, to outside stakeholders, to inside employees and ultimately to the citizens we serve. There is a lot of pressure to ensure a 911 center operates efficiently, and professionally while making every effort to save lives.

I need a way to relieve the pressure that constantly weighs upon me. Exercise is a great way to do that, but I needed something a little more. I found it in meditation. I once wrote an article about Mindfulness in 2019. I fell away from the active practice of meditation over the years. But as I started to say, at the end of 2023 I began again. I am happy to say that I have cemented the daily habit of meditation since then. I am 390 days in a row as of this writing. My meditation consists of 11 to 12 minutes of focused breathing, a mental body scan from head to toes, and reflection on the events of the day. If you're interested in an app to guide you in mindfulness and meditation, the one I use is called Headspace.

I've established my meditation habit for over a year now. This year in 2025 I made a new goal for myself and it relates to exercise. I am choosing to make a drastic change in how I am exercising. Traditionally, I've always chosen to lift weights to build muscle and lose excess body fat. Never have I desired to be a bodybuilder or turn myself into some gargantuan musclebound beast! No. Just natural exercise of lifting weights. Anyway, the new approach to exercise and my 2025 goal is to practice Yoga.

I'll say this now because it bears hearing for anyone who says yoga is for girls. It is not. Anyone who thinks that yoga is for girls has never tried yoga before, because that shit is hard! It is much more difficult to do yoga than it is to lift weights. Bench press, squats, dead lifts, leg press, bicep curls and so forth are far easier in my opinion, than yoga.

I've done yoga in the past, about 19 years ago from a DVD I once purchased. It lasted for about month I think and I never developed a lasting habit. A couple of years ago my massage therapist told me about a variation of yoga called Yin Yoga and suggested I try it due to the tightness and limited range of motion issues I always have - no doubt related to the stress of my job, and other past events.

Yin Yoga is all ground work, and generally easy. It's all about stretching and holding poses for several minutes before changing to a new one. I started doing Yin once or twice a week in place of weight lifting and I enjoyed it. Yin can be intense when your body isn't used to prolonged stretches, but it's well worth the effort.

So this year my goal is to do regular yoga everyday. I have a subscription to Inner Dimension Yoga and have been doing it daily for a week now. I didn't start right on January 1st, so I am a few days behind, but it doesn't matter. The point is to do it each day and form another good habit that leads to better health for myself.

Even as I sit here typing this, my legs and upper body are very sore. It is evident that even lifting weights doesn't always target every muscle that needs attention. My shoulders are very weak, where I used to think they were decently strong. Yoga has proven otherwise.

I formed a good mental health habit just over a year ago and it's paying dividends. Now I am seeking to add another good habit, a physical one with mental health benefits, this year. I think that simply writing this new goal down and publishing it will help keep me accountable to my goal.

Self care is very important. Never sacrifice it for anything. If you don't care for yourself, you'll be unable to care for others especially when they need you most. This goes for family, friends, coworkers, and your employees. Take excellent care of yourself and you'll be in a position to take excellent care of others.

Find your path to self care and discover what works best for you. It doesn't have to be meditation or yoga. It could be fishing on a quiet lake, or spending time with your grand kids, or going for a regular walk with a friend.

Make sure your self care plan is something that brings a mental and physical benefit to you, and it's something you enjoy.